2007 Number 170

Susan A Marino, BFA, MA, NCC, LPC, licensed professional counselor

            When roll is call each morning can you speak up with confidence or are you just a warm body weakly raising a hand.  A daily life tangled up in too many demands, and never enough time or energy to get to the things that matter most can leave one lost in the past or carried away by the future.  How we live this one precious day, tends to be how we will live tomorrow and the next and the next.  When drifting off into the past or the future, a gentle reminder “that was then, this is now and who knows about tomorrow” can help.

            In reality we only have today, everything else is if, and, or maybe.  Periods of preparation or study are an opportunity not only to put tools in your bag, but to become clear on what you really want.  There are plenty of people who decide that their school major is not where they want to go.  The key to investing in training is to get some profit out of the experience, even if it is just exercising your mind or eliminating one area of interest from your possibility list.  Choosing meaningful work, caring for and giving love to your family, contributing to your community or the world, creating art, building a business, climbing mountains, and making music are a process that require clarity of focus in the present.

            The spark that drives most of us forward is the ambition to improve the quality of our lives while being true to ourselves and what’s really important to us.  We may not be conscious of our motivations on a daily basis, but frequent contact with small details of pleasure increase satisfaction.  A short relaxing break, looking up at the sunny sky, smelling the roses when walking around the block can only be enjoyed in the present.  Simple acts of fun can be used to transition between bigger tasks, collect energy and strengthen the commitment to spend the majority of our time where the REAL action is.

            During this one precious day there will be many distractions.  Bills will need to be paid, thought and feelings will surface, messes from previous mistakes will need to be cleaned up, issues related to amends, forgiveness and grieving can hover like dark clouds.  Try not to judge, dwell on, or deny these influence, but identify them as chatter originating in the another place and time and let them come and go with as little involvement as possible.  That’s right, dance through the day, side-stepping what can drag us off course.

            Commit to whatever it takes to make this a ground breaking day.  Sometimes we need help to move on.  How many people relocate all by themselves without asking for spare boxes, inviting extra strong hanks to pack and carry, scheduling a truck, alerting the post office, or giving notice?  It’s not impossible, but is it efficient or timely.  Deadlines happen and help is available.  There are people who specialize in encouraging and supporting change.  They can help you re-commit to your goals every day.  If you are stuck or suffering, isolation or pride is not a solution.

            Concentrate on the task at hand, aiming at your goal, but knowing that there is no perfect outcome.  A life based on personal principles, standards, or values rather than reacting to others’ needs and wants or the acquisition of material things enables us to live in integrity with ourselves.  One way to identify values is to ask yourself how you want to be remembered by others.  A person who cared, who made a difference in the world, who kept promises, who was honest and trustworthy are qualities worthy of respect.  The qualities you most admire in others may be the values you claim for yourself.  Do something everyday; installing just one piece of the puzzle that is a good fit with your dreams.

You can’t know success until you know yourself,

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